Point of View
by Maijajo
Summary: After being out of fanfic for a loooong time, was inspired by the Castle finale, as many were. I love telling stories in first person, so I will try with this one. My plan, if there is interest, is to tell this story from different POVs, shifting at times during chapters. Let me know what you think!
1. Chapter 1

**_Disclaimer_**_**:** I don't own Castle or any of its characters. Would be nice though._

_I love writing in first person, and have been out of the game for awhile. Decided the finale of Castle was the perfect push. The story will all be in first person from different points of view, hence the name. A bit nervous as it's my first fanfic in awhile … please review._

POINT OF VIEW

_**Kate**_

I don't know exactly what I expected.

I had dreamed of him of course. There were many nights thoughts of him rose unbidden in my mind. How would we come together? What kind of lover would he be? Playful and eager? Sweet and adoring, perhaps even reverent?

None of those images prepared me for the demanding male body pressed against mine, each touch radiating intensity; his tongue plundering the depths of my mouth, hands in turn spanning my waist and clutching me against him. I struggle mentally to find purchase. "Who is this man?" is soon followed by "Why did I wait so long?" and "_God_, please don't let him stop."

In some ways, my being here was somewhat inevitable. I had been calling for Richard Castle all day, both subconsciously and out loud, whether it was screaming his name dangling over several stories of concrete or whispering it softly through tears in the rain.

Of course, now all I can do is gasp. "Castle!" His mouth moves from my swollen lips down my neck, toward the vee of my breasts, my blouse and bra quickly casualties of his passion. There is nothing tentative, nothing unsure.

Earlier, only my scar had given him pause. His ardor seemed subdued as we walked to his bedroom. I was leading him, I suppose, as I often had in our years working side by side. Sweet, silly, funny Castle, always watching for my next move.

That all changed in the shadows of his bedroom. As lightning flashed, so did his need, and now, as the textured wood of the door makes its mark on my bare back, Castle's lips, hands, body brand me from head to toe. I always believed he would be gentle. Not that he is rough, but the man sweeping my senses with his lips, hands, tongue is … possessive, wanting, determined. And finally, I am ready to give him what demands.

"Castle …"

I pull back long enough to fumble with the buttons of his shirt, suddenly eager to feel him against me. He takes over when I have trouble navigating the fabric, and as he finishes the job. My hands move to his belt, and I manage to pull it off, tossing it to the floor. I start to work on his pants when I am swept up against the heat of his chest.

The world spins as he carries me swiftly to his bed. I have only a moment to grasp its vastness, the softness of the coverlet, before he starts pulling my sodden jeans off my legs.

Somewhere in my muddled mind I worry they will cling to my skin, but Castle dispatches the denim quickly. Thunder crashes, followed again by a flash of lightning. He stills, and I see his eyes in the brilliance, taking me in. "Kate."

It's not a moan or a whisper. It's a declaration. I am here, laid bare before him.

Soon all I see, feel and need is his body against me. His hands find places no one has touched, at least not in this way. Every nerve ending comes alive, sparking with intensity not unlike the storm raging outside. His breath draws in sharply as my hand reaches between us, stroking the length of him as I nip his earlobe. But he does not pause … it's almost as if he seems intent on memorizing my skin by touch. My whole body screams for him, wanting more.

And he gives it, hands moving down my sides, my legs, up to my hips, which lift to him unashamed. He reaches inside of me, and I moan, unable to process what I am feeling. Suddenly, it's all too much to bear, having him touch me deeply, but still too far away. I want him … all of him.

"Castle …" My voice is yearning, beseeching, unashamed. "Please …"

Swiftly, he shifts, moving between my willing legs, bruising my lips with his once again. My thighs twitch and quiver with anticipation, with want, with the destiny that began the day we met. I wait …

And he pauses. I gasp, feeling as if a part of me is missing. I yearn for this man. "Rick …"

"Kate. Look at me." His voice is low, harsh, demanding. I open my eyes, unable to deny him anything. Somehow in the dark, I see his gaze burning into mine. "There's no going back."

I wet my lips, swallowing before I am able to speak, a hoarse whisper rasping out.

"Promise?"

In response, his lips crush mine as I feel the entire length of him slide effortlessly to my core. Time seems to stop as his hand threads through my hair, holding me tightly. My eyes clench shut, my entire body seeming to sigh in relief.

Soon, our bodies find their rhythm. My hands roam his body – broad shoulders, muscled back. My nails leaving their mark as I tremble, barely able to hold on, yearning for release but wanting more, always more.

"Kate … _God_." His ragged breath tells me he is struggling as well. His movements slow but increase in intensity as his lips bite and pull at my neck. Each thrust pushes me further and further until suddenly, brilliantly -

I am lost.

_Next chapter will be from Castle's POV, as you may have guessed. Chapters at times may switch between POVs, but will always have headings to clue you in. Shall I continue? Thanks for any feedback._


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer**_**: **_I don't own any part of Castle, but I would like to._

**Point of View – Chapter 2**

_**Castle**_

When the combustion faded and pulses slowed, my intention was to make sure Kate ate something – no telling when she slowed down enough to feed herself - and offer her a shower. But as the storm outside slowed, so did Kate's energy. She curls up on her side, facing me, a look of mild apprehension in her eyes even as they droop with fatigue.

I can't blame her. When my mind finally realized that she was offering when she came to the door – soaking wet, eyes begging me to understand – instinct and need took over. In my own defense, the marionette strings she's kept me on for months – even years – have grown tiresome. But I have my part in this game we play, and I still should have been more of a gentleman.

I can almost read the questions in her eyes – "What does this mean?" I could echo the same, but unable to withstand the doubt and mild fear in her eyes, I reach out, and with obvious relief, she turns and folds into me. As I wrap my arms around her, I try to think of what to say, but her breathing slows, and she surrenders to a different need than the one that brought her to my door.

Truth be told , I am glad. It gives me time to sort myself out. It's been a long time since I first realized I loved Kate Beckett, and the last year has been a jumble of anger, sadness, fear, and desire.

With at least the last of those dealt with to a degree – for now – I still have to face the others. My mind – and many other parts of my body – are still somewhat overwhelmed by the reality of Kate Beckett. With that thought, desire tries to work itself through me – _Really? Already?_ - and I tamp them down. There are more pressing issues at hand.

I still love her. But where do we stand? This woman – and my feelings for her – are nothing if not complicated.

I need to know more about what happened today – yesterday now. Perhaps details will give me a watershed moment, the ones I've been told I write so eloquently in my books. One thing I know for sure … nothing in my books or the many dreams I prepared me for the reality of Kate Beckett, wanting me, needing me.

_Loving me?_

She chooses this moment to stir, stretching in her sleep. I lean back to give her space, and the sheet slides off her body as she turns onto her stomach. I notice a slight flinch in her movements, and my eyes narrow as I take in the pale swath of her back in the early morning half light.

The smoothness of her skin is marred black and blue, bearing silent witness to the brutality she endured. Stomach churning, I take inventory. The bruising clearly spreads to her stomach, and I notice her fingernails are broken, a couple of the tips raw. The curve of her neck reveals how close she came to …

"_I almost died ..." _

God, what happened?

"Kate …" I whisper, dread in my heart. My hand sweeps gently over her, as if to wipe away the pain.

"Rick." It's a sigh that escapes her, a gentle smile in sleep.

_She feels safe._ The truth of it lightens the burden I feel slightly. Something about the contentment, the comfort she seems to feel – it's the first time I have ever really seen her relaxed in over a year – tempers the warring thoughts in my mind. We still have to talk, find out where we are, but Kate Beckett and I are not done, not by a long shot.

With that thought, I surrender to my own exhaustion.

_Okay, I will probably switch a little more in future chapters, but I wanted to fully explore their conflicting thoughts first. Thanks for the interest and PLEASE review. It makes me happy._


	3. Chapter 3

**Point of View**

_**Disclaimer: **__I own nothing so lovely as this show or its characters._

_Thank you for all of your support. Bear with me for this chapter. I had a hard time with this, but it had to be done to move on to the rest of the story. _

_**Chapter 3 **_

_**Kate **_

_"Batman … Batman … Batman … Na na na na na na na na. BATMAN!"_ My mind spins in confusion – the old Batman TV show theme? What the hell? Suddenly the bed beside me shifts, and I put the pieces together.

Really, who else but Castle would have a Batman ringtone?

With the realization of where I am and who is beside me, memories of last night rush through me. His hands commanding, lips invading the very heart of me. Castle taking, me giving … the opposite of our relationship of the last few years.

"Hey honey, how was the party?" That's right … Alexis graduated yesterday, and went to the all night party. "I'm glad you had fun." Pause. "That's fine … you go and enjoy yourself. Just make sure you use lots of sunscreen." Another pause. "Hey, I'm entitled … you may be an official adult now, but you're still my daughter, and you will thank me when you don't get skin cancer."

I can't help but smile. He sounds like the Castle I know, not the intense, focused lover of the night before. I welcomed – relished – his passion, but I still need to know that he is also the same man of the past 4 years. Nerves flutter in my stomach. I can't help it – I've put him through hell, and one night of needy, mind-blowing sex isn't going to make it better.

"Okay, sweetheart. It's a date. I love you, too." He disconnects, setting the phone on the bedside table. I stay quiet, my back to him, waiting for him to make the first move. When I feel his arms around me, gathering me against him, hope replaces nerves.

"Hey," I whisper.

"Good morning." He murmurs, breath tickling my ear. "That was Alexis. She and her friends are going to the beach for the day."

"Sounds like fun," I say. "I'll bet yesterday was a little hard for you."

Castle idly strokes my thigh. "As a parent, I suppose. But she was … beautiful. Not a dry eye in the house."

"Including yours." I smile, part of me wishing I had been there. But no, I was chasing demons as always. Until one bit back, and almost killed me. I shiver. He immediately senses the change in mood, and turns me to face him.

"Are you okay? Last night, the bruises – I – did I hurt you?"

"No , Castle …" My heart clenches at the worry in his eyes. I've worried him enough. "You never would."

He seems to ponder that, then – "I need to know what happened, Kate."

I close my eyes, not wanting to relive it, wanting more than anything just to hide here in his bed, wrapped in his arms. "But I told you –"

He sighs. "Not the Cliff Notes version from last night. All of it."

He has a right to it, I know. He offered himself to me yesterday – body, heart and soul – and I stomped all over that beautiful gift. Castle needs to know what brought me to his doorstep.

I retell the sordid mess, from the argument with Ryan, to Javi teaming up with me, all the way to our fight on the roof. When I get to the part where I fell over the side, dangling, thinking it was over, his eyes darken. "Kate, you could have – "

I dismiss that with a quick shake of my head. "But I didn't. I thought I was going to, but at the last moment, I heard your voice." His eyebrows raise in question. "It wasn't you of course, but I think my mind needed to hear you, to give me the strength to hold on. It's funny, you know when people say your life passes before your eyes? For me, it was the life I could have had, the possibilities, the promise. And it was all about you."

His gaze is intense, but he doesn't say anything. I rush on, explaining how Ryan pulled me up, and Gates being there. I am unnerved by his silence, but finish my story. "I told Gates to keep my badge, that I was done."

Castle starts. "You quit?" I nod, gauging his reaction. "But Kate – I never expected … being a cop is such a part of you, part of your identity …" He trails off. Oh God. What if he doesn't want me anymore? What if all along it was the woman with the badge he loved, not just me?

Suddenly, he is kissing me, and I know instantly I have underestimated this man once again. Soon, all coherent thoughts rush away with the force of his lips on mine. As or hands roam, rediscovering the slopes and planes of our bodies in the daylight, everything else fades away. As we I move against him, my breath becomes shallow as I feel h his desire. Suddenly, he pulls his lips away. I feel the loss acutely. "Castle – "

"Are you okay? The pain - " My answer is to pull his lips to mine.

"You take it all away," I murmur against his lips. "Again, Rick, do it again."

He pauses enough to look deeply into my eyes. "We'll get through this, Kate," he says, making my heart skip. "I promise."

Then slowly, blissfully, he makes love to me. Where last night's hands demanded and took, this morning, they soothe and tempt, the burning intensity replaced by a smoldering fire that leaves me just as breathless.

And I realize I have never been so happy.

_**Rick**_

I watch her nibble on the fresh berries I placed in front of her as I prepare an omelet. She looks like a child – hair tousled and messy, body swimming in my oversized T-shirt and pajama pants. Less lost, which relieves me. I give the omelet a toss, catching it neatly. The move has its desired effect.

"Wow, look at you, super chef." She grins, and I love the impishness that comes over her face.

"You have only just begun to scratch the surface of my skills," I drawl.

She giggles … actually giggles."After last night and this morning, I'm not sure if I can handle too much more."

I smile. When I used to think of what we would be like – together - playful banter was always part of it. I take a moment to glance at my phone. A text from my mother – "The waves are glorious!" I scroll through and realize there are several - Lanie, Ryan and Esposito. All concerning Kate. "Where is your phone? Because if mine is any indication, it may have reached maximum capacity."

She looks at my phone, brow furrowed. "It's upstairs … somewhere near the bed, wherever my jeans landed," she says, smiling that secret smile. A few minutes later, she walks into the kitchen, frowning slightly.

"They're worried," she murmurs. "My Dad, too. They must have called him."

Of course they are, I think, sighing inwardly, not wanting to burst this fragile bubble of comfort we have created. "You need to call them, at least let them know you're okay."

Wearily, she nods her assent. "I know. But Castle? I'm just going to tell them I'm … out. Not where I am. Okay? Except my Dad. I need to have a day or two to figure everything out." Her eyes tell me she fears my response.

"I understand." The furrow between her eyebrows eases. I do understand. In my heart, I know a return to the precinct – when fires have died down and wounds have healed – may be in her future, and the state of our relationship, whatever it is, needs to be between a select few for now.

She calls her father first, and I am amazed that she does all of this in front of me. She glosses over the details of the previous day – the father in me is glad for him that she did. From her end of the conversation, I can tell he's concerned about her resignation, but supports her. Finally, she tells him she is with me. "Yes Dad," she says, smiling shyly. "I am with him. Really with him. But keep that to yourself, okay? We're just taking it step by step for now." A brief pause. "Oh … sure, Dad, hold on.

"He wants to talk to you," she says, handing over the phone.

"Jim?" I cradle the phone against my shoulder.

"You love her, don't you," he says gruffly, a huskiness in his voice.

Turning my back under the guise of plating Kate's omelet, I answer. "Yes, for a long time now."

"Take care of her."

"I will."

"Thank you, Rick."

I disconnect, the weight of the simple words resting in my heart. I turn to see questions in her eyes, but she doesn't ask, merely holds her hand out for her phone. She proceeds to contact the rest – Lanie, Ryan, Esposito. She's vague, assures them she's fine, saying only that she needed to get away, and that she is safe. She brushes off attempts to discuss her resignation, citing a need to "process" her life without the driving force of the past decade – her mother's murder.

She looks drained, and appears grateful when I set her breakfast in front of her, giving her a task. We eat in companionable silence.

"Are you okay, Kate?" I ask. She nods. "Do you need anything."

"You," she smiles. "And a shower."

"And some clothes," thinking that a trip to her apartment is in order, even if I think she looks adorable in my Lord of the Rings T-shirt.

"Yes … clothes. Later, though, okay?" she murmurs, tugging gently on my hand.

I am only too happy to comply.

_Okay, I think this was a clunky chapter, but I had to get through the post-hookup stuff before I could really get rolling. Sorry for that. Next chapter I will likely jump around a bit more. More reviews, please? They make me so very happy._


	4. Chapter 4

**Point of View**

_**Disclaimer: **__I own nothing so lovely as this show or its characters._

_Thank you for all of your support. Another somewhat clunky chapter, but I need to bring in some mystery. Your comments are WAY appreciated! _

_**Chapter 4**_

_**Castle**_

Kate's hand clenches mine as we advance down the road to her apartment building. The reason for the sudden tension? At least 3 squad cars and a CSI vehicle are pulled up outside, causing traffic to slow to a crawl. I can see what may be Ryan's car.

"Pull over." I startle at her voice.

"What? Kate, it's okay …" I say, pulling into a parallel spot about a block down.

"No Rick," she says tiredly. "It's probably not. I decided to leave the past behind me … it doesn't mean everyone else did."

I could argue with her, but I'm not a good liar. "What do you want to do?"

A beat passes, and she turns to me. Even without any makeup, clad in a plain navy T-shirt of mine and her now-clean jeans from the night before, she stuns me with her beauty. Her eyes are weary, but determined. She rests her hand on my thigh. "You are going to go somewhere, Rick. If not home, take a drive, grab a coffee, whatever. I am going to walk up the block to my apartment and find out what happened."

Not an option, I think. I start to protest – "Kate, you are not doing this al-"

Her fingers gently stop my lips, making me flash back to the night before. "No, Rick, I know I'm not alone." Her eyes soften and she touches my cheek. "I will call you as soon as I find out what's going on, probably from the station. They're going to want me to go there for a bit. But I'm not ready to – for everyone – for us …"

Her brow creases as she finds a way to proceed. They relax. "I can't do this alone anymore. That's why I have to be careful. We talked about the others, keeping them in a dark. I still want that, for now."

I'm preparing my argument when she stops me with her lips … just a touch, really, but also a promise. _No, Castle, that Kate is gone. Let me explain_.

"The Captain is not happy with me already. If the captain realizes we're ... together, that will be just another reason for her to keep you away. I'm going to find out what's going on, and find a way to bring you in."

I want to tell her no, spirit her away someplace no one can find her, where we can navigate this fragile thing we created in between lightening flashes the night before.

"I will call you as soon as I can. Castle, I need you with me, but if we play this wrong ..."

I would be banned from the 12th forever. Can't have that, because it my heart of hearts, I know she will returrn there someday. Besides, we can't hide from the world forever.

"I will be circling like a vulture. Drinking coffee. Waiting for your call." I kiss her furiously.

We part, and she smiles. "Promise?"

_**Detective Ryan**_

I glance up to see Beckett approaching, and feel a well of relief. I immediately turn to an officer standing nearby. "Hey, head upstairs and let the Captain know she's here."

The "She" looks tired … hair pulled carelessly back, a too-large T-shirt, jeans. I try to think of what to say, how to tell her that her saga rages on. I also wonder how she feels about me. If it's anything like Esposito, she thinks I betrayed her, too. Maybe I did.

"Kate …" I begin, not sure how to start. But I don't' have to, because suddenly she is hugging me, a deep sigh reverberating through her body. Not sure what to say, my arms circle her hesitantly, despite the curious looks of my fellow officers.

Finally - "Kate. I'm sorry."

"No, Ryan. I'm sorry," she whispers into my shoulder. "And thank you. Thank you for saving me."

She pulls back and looks deeply into my eyes. And I notice a difference. What is it? Hell if I know, but there is something steady, something calm that hasn't existed before, even when she must know bad news awaits. Her words are genuine, I can see that much, and they are a balm to my conflicted soul.

"Okay, Ryan. Tell me what happened. I'm ready."

With a sigh, I begin. "One of your neighbors, Mr. Fitsimmons, called us. He noticed your door ajar. Peaked in, saw the mess inside. It doesn't appear anything valuable was stolen. We think they were looking for something –"

"Or someone, like me," she states firmly. I happen to agree.

"And when they didn't find you, or what they wanted, decided to do some damage."

We proceed into her apartment, which is a mess and awash with people: CSI, officers, and in the center of it all, Captain Gates.

"Ms. Beckett." Her tone is formal.

I sigh … Capt. Gates did not like being surprised, and that's what Beckett had done yesterday. Gates meant to put her in her place, knock her down a few pegs. Onstead, one of the best cops in the precinct walked out without a backward glance.

"Nice of you to join us."

Here we go.

_**Kate**_

"Would you like to tell us where you've been?"

I will not be cowed by this woman. I am no longer on the force, existing under her commandeering attitude and condescension. I made my choice.

"Away, Captain."

"Care to elaborate?" Her eyes are narrowed, she's definitely angry. _C'est la vie_.

"This is the first I've been home since yesterday, late morning. Last night, I stayed with my Dad." The lie rolls off my tongue, and I make a note to fill my Dad in later, should they call to confirm. But why should they? I'm the victim here.

Gates studies me a moment, then moves into professional mode. "Take a look through the apartment, tell us what's missing. We'll need you back at the precinct when we're done here." She turns to one of the CSI techs, clearly dismissing me.

And so I go, looking through overturned chairs, scattered knick knacks. The obvious theft magnets are still there – my TV, DVD player, iPod safely nested in its dock station. Proceeding to my bedroom, the sheets and other bedding have been tossed. A quick peek inside my jewelry box reveals what few pieces I have are still there. In the bottom drawer, a small role of petty cash remains.

Returning to the living area, I turn to Ryan. "I don't see anything missing, nothing of value."

It is then I notice my bookshelf. The volumes – including my collection of Richard Castle mysteries – are scattered on the floor, book jackets separated from the spines, every book open. My heart skips at the sight of Rick smiling enigmatically from one of the wrinkled pages - _God I need him with me_. The books have been demolished, shaken inside out. _Odd._ Closer inspection reveals every frames photo yanked off the wall, backings removed.

I try to keep my hand from trembling as I pick up the last photo of my family, taken a year before Mom was killed. My arms are looped carelessly around each of my parents' necks, my smile wide and happy. My Dad is also grinning broadly at the camera, and Mom – well, she is turned to her left, gazing at me fondly. That's the look I miss the most.

"Kate?" It's Ryan, knowing something is wrong.

"I think they may have been looking for something," I murmur softly.

"And what would that be, Ms. Beckett?" The Captain, and her brittle tone, has returned. _Screw her._

A headache is forming between my eyes. "That, Ms. Gates," I say, giving her a dose of my own sarcasm, "is the million dollar question."

_Okay, not the most fascinating chapter, but I have decided to wrap up the Johanna Beckett mystery with this fic, and I have to wade in there at some point. Sorry for the boring parts, and I promise more Castle/Beckett together in the future. REVIEWS PLEASE!_


	5. Chapter 5

**Point of View**

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own these people or the lovely show that is Castle. This is a long chapter, devoid of most romance, but I hope to remedy that in the future. I have all these ideas in my head, but stringing them together is tough! Please review! I see many readers, and I would love to hear what you think. Thanks for your patience. This chapter was heard, lol. _

**Chapter 5**

_**Kate**_

I show my former boss the carefully-gone-through frames and books, then gather some clothes and toiletries so I don't have to come back here for awhile. Adding the decimated family picture to my bag, I realize it may be a long time before I want to.

I am allowed a trip to the bathroom, where I quickly text Castle: _Apt tossed, getting some clothes, heading to 12__th__. I'm ok, with Ryan. Call you ASAP. _

I am about to leave when my phone vibrates insistently.

_I love you. I'm sorry. Call soon._

My eyes mist, which doesn't go unnoticed when I come out to find Gates waiting for me. Observing my appearance, she assumes I'm overcome by the disaster in my apartment, not Richard Castle and his love for me.

"Just be glad you weren't here." Her words are terse, but I think I detect a look of sympathy on her face. Then –

"Let's get down to the precinct. We need to go over everything. And I mean _everything_, Ms. Beckett."

So much for sympathy. It was probably gas.

"Um, Captain? We should probably call Castle, since it's possible this involves her mom's case. He has a complete file, and he's the only one who talked to this 'Mr. Smith,'" Ryan says, his eye catching mine, looking for a sign that it's okay. I nod slightly.

Gates sighs impatiently. "I suppose you're right. Although Mr. Castle is part of the reason this all began."

"No, Captain, whoever murdered my mother is the reason," I retort, steel evident in my voice.

Her eyes narrow. "Just get to the station."

I don't spare her an answer, and walk past to join Ryan on the way to the car.

_**Castle**_

My cell buzzes with a text: _Ryan's calling. Play along._

Soon, I hear, "… _and every girl's crazy about a shy dressed man …"_ I smile. The ZZ Top song has been Ryan's ring tone since he wore that awful tie Jenny gave him.

"Det. Ryan. What can I do for you?" My voice is deliberately casual.

"Hey Castle. Listen, Beckett's apartment was broken into," he begins.

"Was she there? Is she okay?" I make sure to sound concerned, but not too concerned.

"She's fine. She wasn't home, but her place was trashed. No robbery .. .the usual stuff wasn't touched. But they were definitely looking for something, and I gotta think it has to do with her mother's case. Can you come down to the precinct? Beckett will be there, too."

I detect warning in his voice … I'm sure he senses things were not good with Kate and I. They weren't, until last night. But Ryan doesn't need to know about that.

"I'll be there as soon as I can." We disconnect, and I drive as quickly as the traffic allows.

_**Capt. Gates**_

"I'm sure Ryan has filled you in on what we were doing," Beckett says, dropping into the chair by my desk. She's wary, impatient, and not being entirely cooperative – exactly what I don't need right now. Det. Ryan hovers uncomfortably in the corner. I feel a pang of sympathy – he did what's right, and his best friend still isn't talking to him.

"He did, but I have some follow up questions. First, now that you are … free of the constraints of the police department, what is your next move? I would appreciate an answer before more bodies turn up." I'm tired of playing this game.

Beckett surprises me by suddenly looking tired. "Actually, nothing."

I arch an eyebrow. "You expect me to believe that?"

She seems to gather herself. "It's one of the reasons I quit, Captain. After nearly dying – again – I realized it wasn't worth it. My Mom wouldn't want this for me, I shouldn't want this for me. I'm tired."

Something in her demeanor – her obvious weariness perhaps – makes me think she may actually be telling the truth. "And that made you quit the force?"

"The only reason I became a cop was to avenge my mother's death. I'm not willing to let it define me anymore. I'm done."

"That's all very well and good, Ms. Beckett, but unfortunately, not everyone got the memo." Inside, I am sorry to hear her words, even if I don't completely believe them. Beckett is – was – a hell of a cop, with an innate sense of justice. I don't want to understand, but old memories are knocking at my door. My traitorous mind takes me back to the day I decided to enter law enforcement, not long after I knelt sobbing in the street, rain washing away the blood along with the life of someone I loved.

But that was long ago, and the situation at hand needs my attention, especially now that I see Richard Castle strolling into the precinct.

_**Castle**_

I know Kate is worried I will tip my hand, but she forgets I've gotten quite good at keeping secrets.

"Mr. Castle, how nice of you to join us." Gates' icy smile greets me.

"Captain, Det. Beckett." My tone is aloof, casual. Kate's expression is carefully devoid of reaction.

"It's just Beckett, actually. I've resigned," Kate seems detached, reminding me that she is fairly schooled in the art of concealment as well.

"Well, it seems I've missed out on an important part of the story. Someone can give me the highlights anotehr time. I am sorry about the break in, and I've brought you what I have." I hold up the disk, a compilation of the murder board and information I had gathered … and removed from the trash on my computer.

Gates wordlessly pops it into the computer. As my "murder board" appears on her screen, we begin to go through the different points of the case.

Bob Armen, the murdered undercover cop, whose killing would lead to so much bloodshed. Ray Montgomery, John Raglan, Gary McCallister, Dick Coonan, Hal Lockwood, Joe Pulgatti, Cole Maddox. And of course, Johanna Beckett. All joined together by conspiracy and murder.

Her daughter is emotionless by appearance, but I know better. I see storms in her eyes: drizzles of sadness, lightening strikes of anger. Then, the bone weariness turning them overcast.

"Anything to add, Mr. Castle? Ms. Beckett?" We both shake our heads. "We will work the case – all of the cases, Ms. Beckett. But don't let me find out you're working on this alone or with your sidekick."

"Honestly, Captain? I'm just looking forward to some sleep." Kate says. "What about Esposito?"

"He's starting back Monday. We can't afford to be down two people right now," Gates says, pointedly. "Where are you planning on staying? We will have protective detail assigned."

Kate glances at me, then stares in surprise when I answer: "My place … in the Hamptons."

"Castle – you can't – I don't expect – "

I cut her off smoothly. "No matter what has happened, I started this 3 years ago when I started looking into your mother's case. I have an obligation to see this through. Besides, if they've gotten to Mr. Smith, then they likely know about me, and my family is in danger as well."

"Mr. Castle … these men are professionals, your fancy alarm won't face them," Gates patronizes.

"You forget, Captain. I have cultivated many sources in the law enforcement/crime world. I have connections, and I can get security as I need it." My mind already has a candidate – a former CIA operative, he's been known to provide freelance protection for bigwigs on both sides of the law. He owes me a few favors.

Gates waves a hand. "Whatever, you just make sure we can reach both of you."

Kate looks like she has something to add, but I cut in. "Listen, Beckett, it's a big house. You won't even see me if you don't choose to." I turn to the others. "Captain? Det. Ryan? If there's nothing else, I have some plans to make. If you'll excuse me?"

"Of course, Mr. Castle. But one more thing." Great. This can't be good. "Once this case is over, since your … muse … is no longer on the force, I don't expect to see you, unless it's by invitation."

I salute her mockingly – I can't help it. "Yes ma'am." I'll be damned if I call her sir. I turn to Ryan and Kate. Poor guy, he looks so defeated. "Ryan? Can you get Kate to my apartment? I need to talk to Alexis. Fill her in."

"Of course." He looks relieved to have something to do. Beckett follows both of us to out of Gates' office.

"Castle? Don't I have anything to say about this?" Her words are harsh, but her eyes merely questioning, worry lacing them.

"It's the best thing." I stare at her meaningfully.

Kate elects to be breezy: "Fine, whatever. Just don't expect me to play laser tag."

As I take my leave, my phone buzzes. I glance down: _Where are you? Just got home, something's weird._

Alexis. I gather myself, and prepare to meet my daughter and explain I've commandeered at least part of her summer.

_**Alexis**_

My first clue that something's up came in the form of a puckered, damp leather jacket thrown over the banister. It had obviously had been out in last night's storm. I recognize it: Det. Beckett was here.

The thought brings up many emotions. I like her, care about her. After all, she's been a friend, treated me like an equal. She also brought out more of the man I always knew existed: the kind, warm, loyal guy behind the macho, womanizing writer. The man that made me pancakes every Sunday, kissed my booboos and tried to discuss girly issues with me, even if he did blush and make a mess of it sometimes.

She also made my Dad look like he'd been kicked in the stomach, especially recently. Something tells me my thoughts of Beckett are going to become distinctly more muddled.

I hear the key turn in the door and see my father enter, looking a bit rumpled and weary.

"Dad! Are you okay?" I rush over, hugging him.

"I'm fine, Alexis," he says, giving me another hard squeeze before letting me go. "How was your day with your friends?"

"Great, Dad." I'm not up for small talk. "What's going on?"

He sighs, seems to gather himself, and pulls me over to the couch. I'm officially worried.

"Alexis, Det. … Kate came over last night. She almost died tracking her mother's killer."

"That's what you've been afraid of, why you said you weren't going to see her anymore." My heart aches at the pain on his face. "She's okay?"

"Yes, thankfully. Anyway, when she came over, she told me it made her realize finding her mother's killer wasn't worth her life."

"She's just going to stop?" I'm dubious. Det. Beckett doesn't seem the type to give up on anything. It's something that I admire and worry about, as it's made a wreck of my father's emotions lately.

"Actually, she's already gone so far as to resign from the force."

I can't help but gasp. "What is she going to do? What – "

Dad cuts me off. "Let me finish. Anyway, just because Kate has given up, doesn't mean she's out of danger. Her apartment was broken into last night."

"Omigod, is she okay? Did they hurt her?"

Again, Dad seems to gather himself.

"No Alexis, she wasn't there. She was here." His face tells me the rest.

"Oh. So you're …."

"Figuring things out … together. But the bigger point right now is, she's in danger. And because I inserted myself into her mother's murder investigation, so am I, and anyone who is close to me."

My mind is racing. Dad's with Kate? She was here all night … I don't want to think anymore about that. Dad's in danger? Grams? Me?

"What are you saying, we have to go into witness protection?"

"No, sweetie. Just, I want us to go to our house in the Hamptons for awhile, until this sorts itself out. Ryan, Esposito … they're getting really close. As a result, we have to be careful. So, I called a friend of mine. He's going to set up security up there, and we'll just hang tight."

I think of all the things I wanted to do this summer. I think of all the times Beckett's hurt my Dad and almost gotten him killed. Anger creeps up inside of me. "Why, Dad. Why did she have to turn our lives upside down?" I jump up and begin pacing.

"Alexis. Stop." He jumps up, grabs me by the shoulders. I try to wriggle away but he holds me firm. I stop when I see the sadness, guilt in his eyes. "If you're going to be mad at someone, be mad at me. Kate went through years of therapy to give up her quest to find her mother's killer. It kicked up again because of me and my infantile need to be a hero. You've told me before I need to grow up. Now I have – a little – but I did it too late and have dragged you into this. I'm so sorry."

He releases me and sits heavily on the couch. "I'm sorry to ruin your summer, but if anything happened to you …"

I can't stand to see him in pain, and sit next to him, my arm around his choulders. "Dad, I know. It's okay. We'll go. But … I worry about you."

He smiles sadly. "And I worry about all of you. Thank you for understanding."

I understand Dad ... Beckett's another story, and our time at the Hamptoms will give me a chance to find out what her intentionns are. Truth is, I want to hate her - it would be easier - but I can't help but remember that she saved Dad and Grams last year. But that doesn't mean she's getting off easy.

"Well, if we're going to be there for awhile, we need to get pack\king."

_LOOOOONG chapter. Sorry. I needed to tie up some loose ends and get Castle and the ladies in his life away from New York. Please review? Want to know what you think. _


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